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December 29, 2005
Barriers to Effective Communications
When a bear roars, he is not listening. Barriers are those obstacles that stand in the way of a successful negotiation. Better put, barriers are obstacles to effective communications.
In order to have an effective discussion or negotiation, the people involved have to be able to hear, be heard, and understand each other. They do not need to agree, only to understand and be understood. Agreement may or may not come later. It certainly will never come if channels of communication are not opened and maintained.
Most barriers stem from simple communications issues between the parties.
Barriers can be real, created, or perceived. A real barrier could be a language barrier if the parties do not speak the same language fluently. The nuances of a language can be lost on one who does not speak it as a native tongue. A created barrier can be created by one person yelling over the top of another. As loud as his or her voice may be, the listener will likely reject what is being said as an emotional outburst. A perceived barrier is often based on false assumptions. An example would be one of the parties thinking that the other person does not understand what is being said without verifying that is the case. Playing dumb is an age-old negotiating tactic designed to get the other person to reveal far more than they intended.
Barriers can be verbal and non-verbal. Yelling, as noted above, is an effective verbal barrier to good communications. Equally disruptive is a distraction in the meeting that captures the attention of one person while the other person is making a point.
No matter the cause of the barriers, they need to be overcome to allow effective communications which facilitate good negotiations. Mediators are expert at establishing a dialogue between the parties. Effective negotiators need to be master communicators.
Posted by Bill at 7:33 PM | Comments (0)
December 21, 2005
Negotiating with Your Doctor or Lawyer
As a culture we have this image of professionals as mini-gods. We take their word to be sacrosanct. They know everything and they what is good for us. After all, they are professionals. We come to them in need and their role is to make us better.
We forget professionals such as doctors and lawyers are mere mortals. They have the same afflictions we have. They have stress at home that impacts their work performance. Some have drinking or drug problems. Some have marital problems. They can have faulty memories or they could have graduated at the bottom of their class. One thing is for sure. They know less about our problems than we do.
Basically they are pretty regular people just like you and me. The difference is the time they spent in school studying medicine, the law, plumbing, or electrical circuitry. So they may be better informed and more aware of the viable options you may need to fix your specific problem. Then again, they may not.
In the case of doctors, medical science is changing by the hour if not the minute. How would it be possible for one professional with a heavy case load to stay current with every new diagnostic technique or therapy that might help you? In all likelihood they can't. That is why specialization has become so rampant. The problem with specialists is that they know their specific area very well but little about you.
What is it then that makes professionals unapproachable? Why do we think that they are omnipotent when it comes to our situation? Why do we let them take on the responsibility of curing our problems and relinquish near total control of our destiny? Why don’t we question or challenge their actions? Why don’t we discuss the prognosis and solution?
Professionals are trained to take control of the situation and manage the process. They are also trained to remain objective. This training is remarkably similar to that of a mediator. It is process-based and designed to do the most good for the greatest number of people. Unfortunately, your situation is very personal to you. This is the information age and today a fantastic wealth of knowledge is available to the patient or client who wants to participate in the solution.
So just how does one negotiate with a mini-god?
Easy. You handle a professional’s visit just as you would any other negotiation. You have a problem and they may have the solution.
• Prepare for the visit. You wouldn't simply walk into a real estate negotiation without first reviewing the basics. Determine why you are going to the professional and make a list of the issues.
• Gather additional, pertinent information. The professional handles thousands of cases. You are but one of many such cases that serve to pay for his Mercedes, his golf club membership and his three alimony payments. Do not forget that you are the customer.
• Don't be intimidated. When he makes his grand entrance, don't go into shock and forget everything. If he is in a hurry, ask him to slow down a bit. You can also pace the session by responding to his questions slowly and methodically. If he appears anxious to get to the next patient or client, ask him to focus.
• Be proactive in the problem solving and the solution.
• Don't be hesitant to ask "Why?". You are allowed to press if you feel he is missing something or if you don't like what is proposed.
• Agree on the terms. It is your right to clearly understand the situation so that you don't get home and worry why you are doing things. You deserve to be fully informed every step of the way.
You will be surprised at how well received your interest will be. In many ways, you will be helping by providing needed information. A true professional will welcome this help. A weak professional will resist your interference. You be the judge.
The bottom line is simple when dealing with professionals. Do not forget that you are the customer. You pay them for their time, attention and their skills. They may forget this aspect of the relationship as their egos become inflated but it does exist. Their time is no more important than yours is. They are not necessarily smarter than you or less forgetful. They have good days and bad days. You are one of many people they will see that day.
Your problem is very important to you and you are paying to have it properly addressed. It is 'OK' to be a bit demanding to the extent that you get the attention you have paid for when making the appointment. It is OK to negotiate your needs.
Posted by Bill at 9:40 PM | Comments (0)
December 8, 2005
Data Can Impact a Negotiation
Identification of edible plants in a survival situation can be the difference between living and dying. Knowing the poisonous plants is essential!
Data is any information available about a given topic, person, commodity or situation. Having the discipline to gather, assess and use this data makes the difference between negotiating and begging. Preparedness is the key to a successful negotiation.
Typically information is readily available if you know how to seek it out.
If the information you are seeking is fact-based and in the public domain, the information may be available at the library, newspaper archives, from a title company, or off the Internet. If it concerns a payment that is in question, records from your accounting group or a copy of your personal check from your bank may be what you need. It may be troublesome to get the hard data, but it is difficult to refute and worth the extra effort.
Knowing the facts that help you is a good thing. Knowing those that hurt your cause is much better. When you conduct your fact-based research, don't narrow your search to the specific item. Be on the alert for related information that may be used against you or undermine your position. The search for data should be broad-based and inclusive to allow you to properly prepare for the moment of confrontation.
If your research is about the personality of the person you are confronting, seek the counsel of others who know the person, study previous negotiation results with the person or his company, casually discuss the person with his or her secretary, or read up on the person's activities. With a little sleuthing, there are usually some valuable insights available. As with data-based research, cast a wide net and collect as much information about the other person's interests, nature, and reputation as possible. You can use this collective pool of data to talk about his hobbies and interests to build a relationship or use it to be on the alert for his known stylistic tactics.
Take the time to fully prepare. If you do this, often as not you will be better prepared than the other person. As a result, you may be able to control the conversation and impact the outcome of the negotiation.
Posted by Bill at 8:55 AM | Comments (0)