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June 28, 2006
Overcoming Barriers to Negotiations
When embarking on a hike in the woods don't expect it to be a walk in the park. Anticipating challenges and obstacles is the best insurance to winning a negotiation. Barriers to a settlement are the reasons negotiating is necessary in human interaction. Without them life really would be walk in the park!
It is not if, but where, barriers exist. I say where rather than when. If you view the negotiation process as a journey, you will find your path littered with obstacles challenging your progress. Seeking each out and resolving them is the only way to make it to the end of your journey.
Understanding that they exist is the first step. Uncovering them is the second. Resolving them is the third.
To better understand where the another person is coming from in a negotiation, take time to get to learn about the person. Visit his or her office. Get a feel for the person's personal life including family, interests and hobbies. Talk with mutual friends. In short, learn what you can before settling into the actual negotiation. Football coaches video the competition and then review the tapes with their players to identify and anticipate likely offensive and defensive barriers they will face. Negotiations should be no different. It is an adversarial sport.
When you are stymied by a barrier, find a way around it. If it is a personal prejudice, you may want to call in a co-negotiator to counter-act the image you represent. If it is a technical matter, you may want to enlist the help of an expert. Your role as a negotiator or mediator is to identify and resolve barriers.
In family situations the barrier can be generational. A father often filters the statements of his thirty-something son as though he was still an adolescent. And the son still looks at his father as a stern, judging parent. Changing this engrained perception is difficult because both are relying on years of first hand observation.
Barriers are the crux of human interaction. Rather than trying to avoid them, embrace them as natural challenges to be overcome. A positive attitude toward resolution is ninety percent of the battle.
Posted by Bill at 9:02 PM | Comments (0)
June 22, 2006
Negotiators often create barriers to buy time.
CREATED BARRIERS
There are times when you want to slow the negotiating process. This is when you need to deploy time-buying tactics. Creating barriers is an excellent way to forestall an unacceptable decision.
We live in a society where everyone is supposed to be omnipotent and the best at what they do. Playing dumb to disarm the other person or to buy some time to think over what is being said is a seldom used negotiating tactic. It is very effective.
There is nothing wrong with asking questions or asking for clarification. When the other person is making a major point against you, don’t hesitate to interrupt to ask for clarification. It will break their train of thought and give you a chance to think of ways to deflect their argument.
We also live in the real-time world of email and faxes. Just because you receive a proposal by fax or email does not mean you should respond in kind. Feel free to sit on a proposal for a few days before sending a response. This signals several things. That you are too busy to look at the proposal. That you may have other offers. That it is not important to you.
Most important, it "says" you aren’t ready to respond for some reason.
Don’t be forced into making a hasty decision. Time typically works to your advantage. When you are at the negotiating table and the other person makes a proposal, sit back and ponder, for as long as you want and then some. More times than not the person making the offer will get nervous and improve the offer.
Your silence will signal that you were not satisfied with the terms. Their reaction tells you how much they want to reach an agreement.
As they say, silence is golden.
Posted by Bill at 6:47 PM | Comments (0)
Negotiators must overcome barriers to effective communication.
IDENTIFYING BARRIERS
While a deep, fast moving river between you and a hungry lion may appear to be an effective barrier, a locked cage with strong bars would be even better.
To be effective a negotiator must have his message clearly heard and understood by the other person. Barriers to effective communication can obscure the best argument. Look for and remove barriers that block your message. All negotiators must be, by definition, skilled communicators. That means they must listen as well as speak clearly.
But there is more.
Reactions to what you are saying signal if the other person is listening and understanding your message. Watch the listener’s eyes. If they stay focused on your eyes, that usually means they are intently listening. If however, the wander or disconnect, it usually means that their mind is racing ahead to formulate what they are going to say, that they are not believing what you are saying, or that they are thinking about the hot date they have that evening. In any event, you need to regain their attention. An effective way to do this is to simply stop speaking. When they realize that you are no longer speaking resume as though nothing has happened.
You may actually need to call their attention to the fact that they weren’t listening and ask why. This tactic will often uncover the reason for the barrier. Then it can be properly addressed. For example, I recall a situation where the other person replied, “I'm really sorry, my daughter is very sick and I’m distracted.” I said that I was sorry to hear about her daughter and suggested we put off further discussions until she was better. In recognizing her personal need, we dealt with each other as real people. Later this personal respect helped us to overcome some of the tougher issues we were facing.
Unless communications are being heard, they should be forestalled until the other person is able to hear what you have to say.
The mere act of acknowledging barriers to communications can give you the opportunity to work together to start to agree on how to resolve the barriers. Then it will be easier to discuss and resolve the real issues.
Posted by Bill at 6:43 PM | Comments (0)
Negotiating requires one to keep their balance.
BALANCE / EQUILIBRIUM
Having to cross a deep ravine using a rope bridge can challenge your balance. A good negotiating opponent will similarly keep testing your footing. The best way to keep your balance is to be focused and have taken the time to be well prepared.
Keeping one's balance is essential as a mediator or negotiator.
For the mediator, each party will try to get their points made and solicit the support of the mediator to make the other person listen. The mediator, by definition, must remain impartial. This can be challenging if one person is obviously being less than realistic in his or her demands. But the key to a successful mediation is a mediator who can ferry between the parties helping each to get comfortable with compromises that bring about resolution. This is a task of balancing information flow and presentation.
There are times that the best efforts of the mediator fail to convert one of the parties who is openly arrogant and unreasonable. In a break out session the mediator will need to impress on this person the need to carefully rethink what he is doing. The mediator will stress that the alternative to an arbitrated settlement is to have a judge hand down a binding decision. That decision may not be what the individual wants to hear, and in the mediator's best judgment, it would be better to reach an accord now than risk such a decision.
During the mediation, the parties have the chance to impact the outcome. In court they lose this luxury.
In a negotiation if the other person is acting unreasonably you have several options. You can walk away from the table, you can capitulate, or you can act like a mediator and explain to the other person that he or she has two choices. He can become realistic and work with you as a professional, or he can find someone else to sell to, lease from, etc., depending on the situation.
Then you proceed to tell him why you are his best option (as compared to a judge in the case of the mediator).
This is a 'soft-bluff' designed to get him involved in resolving the situation rather than fighting you. You are taking on the role of the parent, AKA mediator, to guide the other person into becoming more participative. If successful you will have finessed the situation and proved your skills as a negotiator.
Posted by Bill at 6:40 PM | Comments (0)