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April 7, 2007
Conflict is the Basis of Negotiation
We each live in personal jungles filled with unique threats and opportunities. Each day we awaken to conflict. No longer the prey of four-footed predators we still have our fellow man to fear.
Each morning a parent’s day starts with the need to resolve a series of conflicts. They deal with routine issues like:
Who gets to use the bathroom first?
Who takes the kids to school?
Who picks them up from dance class?
Can Sally go out on Friday and how late can she stay?
Will Jim get to use the car or is he still grounded?
Are you really letting your daughter wear that to school?
Each issue is a form of conflict requiring discussion and resolution. How we handle such negotiations determines the attitude of those involved. If parents are arbitrary, the discussions are likely to escalate and disrupt the morning’s tranquility impacting everyone’s day. Taking the time to consider the feelings and perspective of those our decisions impact can vastly improve how the kids do in schools later.
When such negotiations involve our children remember that you are training future negotiators. Our actions are their primary frame of reference for future social interaction.
How we interact with our children when young determines how they will handle conflict as adults.
Posted by Bill at April 7, 2007 8:48 AM