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March 29, 2009
Fear is not the best negotiating tactic.
If people can't communicate they cannot possibly get along together much less negotiate. Fear puts people on the defensive and is a major obstacle to clear, open communications.
Unless you have absolute power, seek to diffuse any fears that may exist on both sides through open and direct communication. This will promote the involvement of all concerned and facilitate resolution.
If you are trying to convince the other person, do not shut them down by yelling, shouting or otherwise attacking them. That is not the way to win your point.
Fear blocks communications. It makes people defensive, apprehensive and inhibits resolution. Only if you wield brute strength over the other person should you invoke fear to control the situation.
Realize that in doing so it is your intent to decimate the other person into abject subjugation. You may not like the relationship that results. Worse yet, if you value the relationship realize that it will be lost when the other person gets an opportunity to escape the situation.
In day-to-day business, family or social settings no one person typically holds absolute power over others. Everyone values the relationships enough to steer clear of deploying absolute power and jeopardizing the relationship. It is the emotional fears of the social setting that impact communications and negotiating in a civil setting.
These fears are harder to discern but are just as problematic to clear, concise communication. As such, they stand in the way of reaching a resoltion until resolved.
Posted by Bill at 12:01 PM
March 1, 2009
When is compromising negotiating?
Is bipartisan compromise possible in Washington?
So much is touted lately about bringing Washington together and acting in a bi-partisan manner. It is interestng that many view this as a novel idea. It is, in reality, what the Congress was challenged to do since first formed.
Compromise, in a negotiation, is the process by which each party gives a little to get a little. It is the process of merging interests to yield a balanced outcome meeting the needs, not necessarily the wants, of the parties to the agreement.
We are a very diverse nation, a federation of states in fact. This diversity is what makes America great. Our system was designed to enable the diverse interests to get along side by side and in harmony. Today that harmony seems ot be constantly challenged.
In Washington, unfortunately, the effect of our lawmakers working together is typically the creation of a bill loaded with all the necessary extra provisions to attract votes seemingly with disregard for how the earmarks will be paid.
That is not negotiating. That is not compromising. That is simply buying votes to assure passage.
One wonders what has happened in Washington over the last forty to fifty years that has seen our lawmakers seeking to do right by their country change to fighting to get their fair share for their constituencies, advocates and, yes, special interest supporters.
I may be naive being outside the beltway but I have not sensed true compromise when it comes to garnering votes for a bill in a long time. What I have repeatedly seen is the purchase of votes that violate the interest of the Country for the interests of a select few in the form of earmarks. Earmarks are riders to the bill that promises something to a small group in exchange for support of the major bill. It typically has nothing to do with the actual bill. It is, pure and simple, a payoff.
What ever has happened to principles. honor or integrity? Since when did the lawmakers of America, and that includes both of the Parties, become Machiavellian advocates of the end justifying the means. When those in the Congress cast dispersions upon the CEOs of America they should, once in a while, reflect on their own questionable behavior. It smells the same! They have been and continue to spend beyond their means.
Many of our good representatives are not negotiating in good faith. They can't cover to costs of their promises...unless we, The People, bail them out.
Posted by Bill at 6:14 PM