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Parameters Parenting Passion Passivity Patience Payback Perseverance Persuasion Planning Possibilities Position Power Creating Power Destructive Power Negotiating Against Power Negotiating From Power Power Tactics Preparation Preparing Problem Solving Proponent



PARAMETERS

When traversing a rushing river deep in the Amazon by vines it is imperative to know how wide the gorge is, how long your vine is, and to test how well attached it is.

Establishing parameters is critical in negotiations and mediation. Parameters not only represent the outer limits of a negotiation. They also indicate how the parties value their position.

When planning for a negotiating session, go through the exercise of calculating what is the most you would pay or offer. Estimate what is the least the other party should consider. If you make an initial offer, you want it to be reasonable enough to keep the other person at the table.

As a mediator will be need to work with each party independently to coach them to make reasonable offers to keep the other party engaged in the discussions. It is also appropriate to suggest each party set their respective parameters to prepare for the shuttle diplomacy phase of the mediation process.

During any dispute resolution confrontation, conference or call the give and take of the dialogue serves to refine the initial parameters of the negotiation. Make sure that you do not concede too quickly or without due consideration. Seek to establish all the issues and identify the disparity of terms before you start to negotiate any significant term. It can be beneficial to combine issues so that you can maximize the value for each concession you decide to make.

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PARENTING

Falcons who have mated stay with their young until they are ready to hunt on their own. Then, instead of remodeling and expanding their nest, as humans are apt to do, they simply push the young out of the nest.

Anyone who thinks raising children is a natural, easy task must not have children of their own. The process of preparing children for life is a complicated mix of coaching, demanding, directing, disciplining, dreaming, educating, encouraging, entrusting, informing, loving, mediating, negotiating, nurturing, philosophizing, training and trusting. It is a unique challenge in that neither party has the option to quit without devastating consequences.

Many of the arguments that arise naturally in a parent-child relationship would be easily resolved through mediation or negotiation were it not for the emotion is an integral part of the process. Children constantly challenge their parents to test and expand their entitlements as the grow.

Parents, like negotiators, react when challenged in many ways:

-They resist allowing the child to grow assuming additional responsibility and independence by saying "No!".

-They concede too soon and spend the night worrying if it was the right decision; often with good reason.

-They slowly expand the scope of responsibility and independence as it is earned allowing both the parent and child to grow into their new roles

-They strive to contain a child forever thereby doing irreparable harm.

One thing is for sure. Parents cannot expect a child to make the right decision consistently. Learning means making a few mistakes along the way.

Parenting, even with teenagers, is more than managing the development of an employee. It is more than negotiating with an adversary. It is a struggle through which the teenager learns and the parent coaches behavior. Neither parent nor child come with a user's manual so each must be prepared to weather and forgive a few mistakes along the way.

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PASSION

When cornered a grizzly becomes passionate about its freedom. It is not wise to be standing in the way unless armed and "ready for bear"!

To negotiate well one must be passionate about the outcome. That is the plight of many corporate negotiators. They lack the passion of personal investment and tend to seek quick resolution rather than excellence when negotiating for their company.

This is a good thing for those negotiating against them. They are able to use time to take advantage of the corporate need to meet deadlines. This often results in agreements later place the company in jeopardy. Beware; such a situation is not always healthy for the other. If the pain is severe enough, the company may ultimately default on the agreement causing the other party losses as well. The best accord is one with terms both parties can tolerate.

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PASSIVITY

Encountering a great white calls for passivity to avoid becoming an appetizer.

Does passivity have a role in negotiations or mediation? Absolutely it does!

Each person should be constantly appraising the mood and temperament of the other people involved in the negotiating session. They are being watched as well. Passivity connotes lack of interest and boredom. The message sent is that the person is thinking about other things or that they really don't care about the speaker or the issue.

This is a powerful message. It can result in a number of reactions. The other person may back away from the negotiating table until interest is renewed or, on occasion, they may increase their offer to pique your interest. As a negotiating tactic, passivity is used to solicit a better offer.

How to indicate you are in a passive mood:

-Glance frequently at your watch.

-Gaze over the other person's left shoulder when they are talking.

-After a clear statement say, “I sorry, could you repeat that?”

-Ask the other person if the meeting is going to take much longer.

All of these things signal your lack of interest in what the other person is saying and even in the negotiation. If you want to encourage him to make a more interesting offer, watch the other person's reaction to measure if the other person is getting angry. If so, change your tactic and get more involved for a while.

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PATIENCE

Sharks circle their prey to determine the prey's ability to defend itself. Because sharks can't see very well, they strike tentatively to measure this resistance before attacking full measure. If the shark sizes you up as an FDA approved dietary supplement, he will strike with abandon.

Part of managing the process of negotiation is to understand the tempo of negotiations. A mediator is accustomed to monitoring the reaction and response time of each party.

The importance of the disputed terms impacts the timing of responses. The quicker the response the more likely the parties are nearing the point at which they are ready to agree on a major point. The higher the stakes, the slower the pace should be because a misstep can be costly.

Patience in a negotiation can:

-Garner increased concessions from the other person.

-Give you time to improve your position.

-Allow other issues to surface enabling you to understand all the aspects of the situation better.

-Flush out unknown pressures the other person is facing such as time deadlines that may give you additional options. -Indicate strength on your part that usually yields greater power.

Patience on the part of the other person does not necessarily connote strength. In fact, it may mean that he or she is seeking more information or time before deciding what to do. If you are fully prepared, go on the offensive careful not to reveal what information they may be seeking.

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PAYBACK

A grizzly is not seeking payback when it returns to a hunter who brandished a long stick during the first attack. He returns with the learned knowledge that the stick is not the rifle he feared and thoughts of fresh meat!

Payback is a concept man has created to soothe his ego. Inflicting payback for an earlier slight may feel good but could also result in a failed settlement. Not every insult needs a response. Payback is a juvenile reaction and does not play a positive role in most dispute resolutions. Do not become involved in retaliation at the risk of achieving your goal or preserving a relationship.

Any negotiation is a series of attacks and withdrawals. When one party loses an issue, the other person wins. Often how the victory and loss are handled is what impacts the relationship of the parties more than the actual point involved. When you are the victor or a mediator, handle a win in a fashion that diffuses the need for payback on the part of the loser.

In a family squabble escalation is typically cause by payback. That is, when one resorts to personal insults and the like, the others involved all too frequently feel compelled to respond in kind. Payback, if you will. The result is a minor skirmish that becomes a hateful, painful nuclear event.

Diffuse payback opportunities:

-Keep in perspective the importance of the issue.

-Disregard the personalized attacks and focus on the facts and issues.

-Don't fall into the trap of responding to attacks with increased venom.

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PERSEVERANCE

A panther takes its time stalking its prey. It patiently follows and watches from downwind. By maintaining the stealthy stalk until one of the herd drifts away to become dinner, the panther is able to succeed against a stronger adversary, the herd.

Dispute resolution is not an easy process. It does not lend itself to fast-track methodology. It requires a number of skills and talents among which patience reigns supreme. The value added to the process of diligence, follow through and perseverance is unheralded but significant in all major negotiations.

While not a technical skill, perseverance is a personal trait that separates the excellent from the average negotiator. Being relentless in one's pursuit of a goal can overcome seemingly impossible challenges where others have failed. The trick is to know how to use time and dialogue to break down the other person's defenses.

Perseverance tips:

-Never be afraid to follow up regularly and frequently during the negotiation process.

-Set reasonable deadlines for action items and tell the other person that you will be calling periodically to keep things moving. Let them know what you expect, get an agreement on when that specific action item or event should be completed, and follow up when it is due to be completed. Your expecting performance by the other person strengthens your credibility and establishes the image that you are controlling the process.

-The more frequently that you follow up, the quicker the pace of the negotiation becomes.

-Use follow up calls, emails and visits to set the pace of the negotiation.

-Resist the diligence of others when it does not serve you purpose. Often you want or need more time to react. Make sure you have a good reason to respond when the other person calls. Do not do so merely to accommodate his or her needs.

-Befriend the assistants of the other parties to facilitate your follow up calls and requests. Often the assistants may tell you why the other person is not responding. This information may help you avoid the error of assuming the worst.

-Collect contact information at the beginning of any negotiation. Later, when you are trying to corner the person, it may be harder to get mobile or home phone numbers.

-Don't be reluctant to take on challenges where others have failed. The timing, your approach or other unknown pressures may make your advances more effective. If the goal is worth the effort, give it your best shot.

-Develop the interpersonal skills that enable you to illicit input form others. Ask questions, compliment their expertise, and search for a common ground on which you can build a relationship. This foundation can open doors and minds!

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PERSUASION

When you become the source on interest of a great white, attempting to persuade it that you are too large to eat is more effective than flailing in the water trying to scare it off.

Persuasion is in the eyes of the beholder. A little friendly persuasion by Guido, the godfather's henchman, is one thing. Encouraging parties to talk and work things out is another. It is all in the approach.

Mediators use persuasion to get reluctant participants to engage with one another. It is what they do. Negotiators use a similar approach to get reluctant adversaries to open up, consider options and discuss the situation. The process involves finding areas of opportunity about which the parties are willing to talk. Achieving small, simple agreements paves the way to resolving bigger issues. This works because the parties are building a relationship; a level of trust is being developed.

Family disputes can be solved through an appropriate application of persuasion. Listening to your child's concerns over your attitude about her dress is an important first step. Then working to resolve some of the simpler problems paves the way to reaching an accord on what they can wear to the prom. It is far easier to compromise on how they dress at home then allowing them to wear a mini-skirt that, to you, looks like a long shirt without pants to the prom. You know going to the prom is more important than the dress. Persuading your daughter to accept the opportunity to attend it by compromising on skirt length should not be a major challenge.

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PLANNING

Sailing from Anacordes, Washington to San Francisco, California requires proper planning to make a safe voyage. This offshore passage can be one of the most challenging in the world and requires the prior planning of safe harbors along the way in the event a not-so-unusual, unannounced Alaskan storm blows through.

Planning requires proper knowledge and preparation. Armed with facts, focused on your objective, and allied with good co-negotiators, setting the plan is an essential step in the pre-negotiation process. Establishing goals, objectives, strategies and tactics is a management discipline. It is especially applicable to the effective management of negotiations.

Plan your work and work your plan is not a trite statement. It is an excellent motto for any one involved in a negotiation. Planning provides a chance to rehearse and prepare for the unexpected. It is far better to be prepared to act rather than reacting. The former assumes you are in control; the latter proves you are out of control.

Tips for Planning:

-Plan for a negotiation like you would plan for battle. Train, train and train again.

-For your co-negotiators, planning establishes a clear mission statement and objectives.

-Mastering your subject matter will enable you to establish alternative strategies in anticipation of objections by the other person. You will also be fully aware of factual weaknesses and know to avoid related areas in the negotiation.

-Planning is a series of mini-rehearsals.

Planning will increase your expertise in the related matters. In the negotiation should you find your mastery of the topic better than the other person's, you can elect to shift into a coaching or teaching mode to lead the conversation toward your objective.

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POSSIBILITY/ POSSIBILITIES

While wolves bay at the moon, men stare and wonder what is beyond.

The ability to dream sets man apart from the animal kingdom. This capacity to hope and expect more than surviving life's hardships is what allows man to embrace the negotiating process as a way of life. Our propensity to look beyond the basic issues and come up with creative solutions makes negotiations interesting and worthwhile as compared to bartering.

Always consider the possibilities of a scenario even though they may appear to be unobtainable. Help can often come from the most unlikely sources. If you don't aspire to greatness in your endeavors, you will waste your full potential in a negotiation and in life.

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POSITION

Properly positioned, a hunter in a blind is a lethal foe for any prey, man or animal.

An effective negotiating technique is strategic positioning. By understanding your competitor's strengths, you may be able to market your proposition as more attractive than theirs when competing for contracts. Similarly, understanding the prospect's needs, wants and expectations helps you to position your arguments so they stand the greatest chance of acceptance.

When you expect to need to convince another of your argument, strategic positioning should be a routine pre-delivery exercise. Strategic positioning of a new model for Chrysler or Toyota is a given. Applying the same strategic forethought in the development and delivery of any argument in a mediation or negotiation is equally important.

Negotiating need not be a random process. Manage it with discipline as you would any other management process.

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POWER

Never hunt a grizzly without a big gun. Knowing that there is perfectly good bear meat available at the specialty meat market in town also leverages the hunter's ability to achieve his goal if he is without a gun.

Power is a constant in all negotiations. It simply is the basis for human and animal interaction. Understanding the dynamics of power in conflict settings is essential to mastering its potential.

Power can be absolute. It can also appear to be absolute. If you happen to enjoy absolute power over a situation and do not feel the need or intend to negotiate anything, simply tell the other person. This saves time, ego and changes the tenor of the discussion. To make the time valuable to you, focus the meeting on what the other is willing to do to get what they want rather. This is different then a negotiation. You control the commodity and they other person is bidding for a chance to own it. Approaching the situation frankly will save time and avoid damaging relationships. Most people prefer a clear, concise decision to a prolonged argument if the ultimate outcome is already set in concrete.

Be respectful of the time equation. Time is as important to others as it is to you. When it is in your power and best interest to do so, simply say "No". To delay doing so often creates an expectation of compromise. Children often repeatedly ask for the same thing until you are ready to throw your own tantrum. They are only hoping to get you to say yes. This can be caused by your not being clear and concise in your decision or because you have given in in the past.

When your power is illusory, apply power tactics judiciously and truncate the process. You will want to garner your concessions quickly and firm them up in a formal agreement before the other person discovers your power was less than they thought. If you are concerned that your power will erode with a delay, take the extra time to draft and sign a hand written agreement rather than delay a formal signing.

Consider the way to create power, the destructive aspect of power, how to negotiate against power, how to use power judiciously, and the deployment of power tactics when planning a negotiation.

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CREATING POWER

A woman facing a bear alone in the woods may feel a bit defenseless. That is until she realizes that a well-placed bullet will have the same effect from a female as from a male. It's not the method of delivery as much as what is being delivered.

Everyone possesses some form of power. Because they have not reviewed their options, the facts, or their opponent's strengths and weaknesses most people fail to realize just how much power they really possess in a given situation. By doing one's homework, one can develop the power they have .

Knowing how much you can afford to spend on a purchase gives you the power of knowing when to walk away from the transaction. Knowing when to say “No” is very powerful. Such awareness gives you the ability to reach a point in the negotiation where you can firmly and unequivocally say, “No, that is my highest and best offer. Take it or leave it”. This is the ultimate power move! At this point you have nothing to lose. It forces the other side to make a decision. Accept your terms or forego the transaction. You have grasped control of the situation.

Power is an interesting commodity. It can be blatant or subdued. Managing your power resources is part of the art and discipline of negotiations. Learning when to deploy a strong position and how to react to others doing so is a learned discipline. But never enter a negotiation assuming you have no power. That is predisposing failure.

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DESTRUCTIVE POWER

Don't use a sledgehammer when a flyswatter will do the job. When chasing flies indoors, pick your weapon accordingly. Holes in the wall will be more trouble than the flies!

Perceptions obviate reality in many situations. Be aware of the potential impact of your personal or corporate reputation on a situation. Reputations have a habit of becoming legend. They are fiction just waiting to be tested. If you or your company has an image of being "all-powerful”, work at making yourself accessible to be sure opportunities are not missed because of ill-conceived image.

Otherwise viable deals are often missed because one side assumes the other will not negotiate or will take undue advantage of their strength. This false assumption can result in an acceptable offer never being tendered. In fact, were a proposal made, there is always a chance that it could lead to a satisfactory result.

Beware of the intermediary who invokes a power position into the equation. In a real estate transaction, a seller's broker may think he is doing the right thing by advising potential buyers of what the seller would consider. But by law he or she must present all offers. Do not fail to make your offer just because a third party says the other person will be insulted or will not take it. If it is a fair offer from your perspective based on what you know tender it. The worse result is the offer may be rejected. But you may be surprised by a reasonable counter.

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NEGOTIATING AGAINST POWER

When confronted by a bear, stand your ground, don't run or reveal your fear.

If you don't have a power base in a negotiation, fake it .

Facing a person presumed to be holding absolute power over a situation that is critical to you, bluffing can yield unexpected results. While facts are often what they are, no one knows everything. A sincere bluff often uncovers unexpected fragility in the other person's presumed power base. Besides, if you are facing insurmountable odds and have nothing to lose, a good, well played bluff is always worth the gamble.

Skilled poker players know that for a bluff to be effective you must first establish yourself as an able, knowledgeable player with a record of holding the winning cards. They also never reveal their hands when they win by a bluff to keep their tactics well covered. Knowledge is what undermines a good bluff. Don't let others know that you have won through bluffing or they will be less likely to fall for it a second time.

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NEGOTIATING FROM POWER

When facing a charging rhino, shoot, then negotiate!

If you have power in a situation, capitalize on it.

Power is a commodity. It should be parlayed into achieving your desired result. Do not be afraid to use it. Appreciate that power is transient. Use it while you have it. Power is to be judiciously utilized to maximize its value to you.

Time when you actually exercise a power play to maximize its potential.. If used too early or to win a skirmish, it will be devalued. Worse yet, it won't be available when you need it to win a major concession.

Everyone has power in a negotiation if that they have the ability to walk away from the "table" without the loss being a mortal loss. A powerful person or company does not always hold all the cards. No matter your net worth, company size or investment in the situation, if you can get up and walk away, you have a degree of power. You have the power, and it is absolute, to say "No!".

As an example, small retailers negotiating against large, mall developers must muster a sense of power before they meet to discuss a lease. By being mentally prepared to walk away, they will be in a better position to leverage what they have to offer into an equitable lease arrangement. Don't succumb to the developer's mantra of “anyone who wants to be in the mall must accept these terms”. The simple fact is that you don't! There are other malls, other cities, and, yes, other jobs!

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POWER TACTICS

Books have been written on power tactics. Here I merely want to point out that power is one of many assets/tools one has available to achieve his or her goals. The following observations apply to power in any human interaction where one party typically has obvious power over the other such as in a parent/child, boss/employee, teacher/student or captor/prisoner relationship.

-Power is abusive by nature. Those subjected to it, resent its use.

-Power is destructive by nature. Its use may and overuse will erode a relationship. Make sure the objective is worth the possible collateral damage.

-Power is self-diluting. Overuse reduces the impact of power and over time it will lose its effect on the other person.

-Power may be challenged. Do not be surprised if the other party challenges your use of an autocratic, AKA power, stance. If so, be prepared to back it up or you will immediately and permanently lose credibility. Be firm and consistent. Don't be caught in a bluff unless you are prepared to open Pandora's Box!

Power is to be respected. When a rabbit comes up against a fox, he scurries and hides. No matter how large his ego, he knows he is not ready for a confrontation! Know your opposition before you meet.

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PREPARATION

Getting comfortable swimming with sharks requires knowledge of the varieties of sharks, knowing their feeding habits and preferred entrees.

The difference between an average negotiator and an expert is the level of preparedness. Clearly understanding your goals and objectives allows you to plan and implement a series of strategies designed to secure your objectives. Similarly, taking time to understand the other person's needs, wants and expectations, enables you to develop effective defensive strategies and tactics.

Negotiation is an exercise in good management. You are responsible to manage the preparation phase so you are ready for the confrontation with the skills to resolve the conflict. While others may be available to help you prepare, ultimately you decide when you are ready to go into the fray. The knowledge emanating from good preparation provides the perspective to always know where you are going during the actual negotiation process.

Preparation Tips:

-Ask strategy questions of others with more experience.

-Ask background questions of others who know this person or company.

-Ask technical questions of those who have expertise in this field.

-Thoroughly review available reports or studies.

-Visit the location or work with the product in question.

-Seek to re-enact the incident that caused the dispute.

-Have the parties to the dispute recap in writing what they each think happened so you can quickly grasp what they are thinking.

Preparation does not stop when you start the formal negotiation. Listen to what the other person has to say rather than thinking about your response. Watch how the person reacts to what you are saying. Learn to gather information and analyze it on the fly in preparation for your next comment, argument or pitch. Learn to constantly gather information and process it to build you effectiveness in resolving disputes.

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PREPARING FOR NEGOTIATIONS

Preparing for safari takes time, knowledge and research. Forgetting to load the proper ammunition is apt to ruin the whole event.

Negotiating is essentially a management process. You should plan and prepare for negotiating sessions as though you are planning a presentation or project assessment. It deserves the same preparatory due diligence that senior managers use when they prepare for leadership events. Negotiating is the process by which one person tries to motivate another or others to action; often an action they don't really want to do.

Preparation for negotiations spans many disciplines. Use others to help you prepare fully.

Tips for Preparing to Negotiate:

-Identify what you will be negotiating. It is essential to understand the nuances of what you are pursuing for so you can intelligently negotiate the detailed aspects of fact-based issues.

-Identify why you will be negotiating. It is important to understand why you are being asked to do something so you can achieve the goal rather than one or more of the objectives that lack the full impact of the goal itself. Knowing why you are negotiating also allows you to be passionate in your quest.

-Determine with whom you will be negotiating. Do some basic research about the individuals to learn what to expect when you meet, how best to approach them, and what they have done in similar situations in the past.

-Knowing the “what, why and who” of a negotiation establishes the parameters of the planning necessary to properly prepare. Now you will need to decide how best to accomplish the research, who can help you, what data you will want to take with you, and the best format to use in your presentation.

A negotiation is a management presentation. Consider it as such, prepare accordingly and you will be better equipped than most of the people you confront.

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PROBLEM & PROBLEM SOLVING

Greeted by a great white while diving at 90 feet presents a well-defined problem. Understanding the situation is easy. Overcoming the challenge is the problem!

When negotiating defining the problem is critical. Often people fight over ancillary issues rather than the real problem. Then again, they can be blinded by a large issue to the extent they fail to see the smaller opportunities that might resolve the discord. In a mediation the mediator takes the time to source, identify and quantify all the micro issues or problems that contribute to or have impact on the primary argument. If the ancillary issues can begin to be resolved, the parties will likely be able to be led toward a mutually acceptable resolution.

Overcoming a problem cannot be accomplished until the problem has been identified. Often the issue that appears to be the problem overshadows the actual underlying cause or causes of dissension. To resolve the problem the real causes of dissension must be addressed.

Assessing an apparently insurmountable problem is hard to do. But if it can be broken down into lesser issues, then these can be attacked individually. As the apparently less important issues are resolved, the original problem may well become less important to the parties. A practiced mediator will closely observe how each of the parties reacts to suggested solutions to identify which partner has additional issues that need to be brought up and addressed before a global resolution initiative will be well received.

The best way to start a negotiation session is to look for additional issues to include in the dialogue. This is often accomplished in the casual conversations as the meeting gets started. You should be looking for personal, business, and totally unrelated issues that may block open communication. You should also watch for indicators that suggest the other person is for some reason uncomfortable with you or the group. Before starting you want to get as much of the "interference" out of the way as possible.

Once you have collected the available "intelligence" separate the issues into those that have an impact on your discussions and those that do not. If any of the issues that are not related can be satisfied with input on your part, offer it during the casual conversation preamble to the serious negotiation. This can be anything from how to get a parking ticket validated to consoling the other person on a personal situation. The goal here is to build a supportive relationship with the person that transgresses the main issue. This relationship will be of value when the actual negotiations get difficult.

For the issues you have uncovered that relate to the matter at hand, separate the "wants" from the "needs". This is best done through additional dialogue whereby you ask questions like:

- Why is it that you want to accomplish that. The response may reveal if it is a company mandate, boss's expectation or personal goal. The nature of the source should reveal whether it is a "want" or "need".

- Do others actually agree to this? Often the response will be something like, not all or most. In either case, that casual remark lets you know that it may be a "want" and that there may be other ways to satisfy the underlying issue.

- If I could find a way to agree to this, what could you do for me in return? The response will indicate how important the issue is as well as give you an insight in to other issues where the other person has flexibility. It may be that those issues are more important to you than the one being discussed.

Identifying problems does not stop when you start the primary discussion. During any dialogue you should be sensitive to ancillary issues that may be brought up or referred to in the other person's responses. Resolving a conflict involves foraging for nuggets of information that will help you guide the discussion toward the resolution that best meets your needs. seldom is the path a direct route.

Problem solving is the meat of dispute resolution. By expanding the issues being addressed, the parties are providing the opportunity to resolve the dispute by pairing ancillary problem solutions so that both people emerge feeling a sense of victory. Win/Win negotiating is not so much about appeasing both sides as it is about pairing needs and satisfiers so that both parties think that they have come away with more than what they had to give away to reach the agreement.

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PROPONENT

Publicly praising the attributes of a tribal chief may encourage him to pardon you from being the evening's entertainment!

Proponent strategies are designed to align the parties on a common course. A mediator knows that by working together towards a common, mutual goal, both parties have increased incentive to achieve an agreement.

If you become a proponent of the other person's needs you may find the reciprocation to be far greater than the consideration you have extended.

Proponent strategies seek to satisfy a specific need using alternative consideration. By expanding the possible settlement options the mediator is seeking to solve the dispute by pairing unlikely party commodities so that both emerge feeling a sense of victory. Win/Win negotiating is about pairing needs and satisfiers so that both parties come away with more than they gave away in their minds.

Ways to be a proponent of the other person without hurting your cause:

-Show how you advocate the same goals and objectives as the other person.

-Support what they are striving to achieve then illustrate how helping you will help them succeed.

-Promote their endeavor as being mutually compatible with your cause.

-Offer to become a fan of their project to third parties.

-Demonstrate that you believe in what they are doing and only want to make it better.

-Be prepared to back their endeavor in a fashion that strengthens your position.

Become an activist for their cause using your goals as a strategy they might deploy.

-Campaign supporting the other person'’s objectives to third parties.

Sponsor the other person into circles to which you have access.

By becoming a proponent agent, you are managing the negotiating process and leading the collective group towards a mutually beneficial accord.

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